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Cafe gal

December 2011

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Cafe gal

Leave it to me to hit an emotional wave and get tossed about it like a silly little rowboat in the ocean in the middle of a storm.   I swear.  I cried so fricken hard my nose started bleeding.  It just....something came over me.  Doesn't help Ryan has been a complete fucking douchebag that knows exactly how to hurt.  Ya know...I still feel...strangely isolated.  I don't know what it is.  Something isn't sitting right. Something isn't...here. Is it the lack of Demetri?  I don't know.  I just want to get this stupid life of mine up and moving and do something. WHY am I hurting so bad right now?  Maybe it's the fact that my bed is empty.  That everything is really starting to hit.  Like I'm still walking in a fog and bits and pieces are starting to shine through and they burn.  

Something is definitely wrong inside.  My body is fine. Our baby is fine.  It's me.  My mind is whirling constantly.  Images waver before my sight and then just as quickly mesh into fear and loneliness.  I'm in a house full of people and animals and I'm lonely.  Everything makes me stop and realize that every night, I still go to bed alone.  Well...not technically alone I guess.  Baby is still in there.  Maybe I'm just being stupid.  Maybe I need to eat this sandwich and go to bed.  Yeah...that's what I'll do.   No one can fix my loneliness but me.

Comments

Thanks for the information. I think that you should wash your face at least 3 to 4 times a day. You’ll be surprised how much better your face will look.

Thank you for sharing the info. I found the details very helpful.

For some reason, I can’t see all of this content, stuff keeps hiding? Are you taking advantage of java?